Donor Tourism: Why Some Donors Stay, Why Others Leave, and Why Both Matter

One of the hardest truths to accept in fundraising is also one of the most freeing: not every donor is meant to stay forever. Some will walk alongside your organization for years. Others will show up once, give generously, and move on. And both of those experiences are not only normal — they are healthy.

In a recent episode of The Influential Nonprofit, I shared a concept I’ve come to rely on after decades in this field: donor tourism. It’s the idea that donors, just like people in our personal lives, come into relationship with us for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. script

When we understand this, fundraising becomes less about chasing, convincing, or panicking… and more about building meaningful experiences, honest relationships, and sustainable systems.

The myth that every donor should stay forever

Most of us were trained to believe that a first gift should automatically lead to a second gift. And if it doesn’t, something must be wrong — with our messaging, our follow-up, our stewardship, or our strategy.

But that belief quietly creates pressure, shame, and burnout.

It also ignores something fundamental: donors have sovereignty.

People give for deeply personal reasons. Sometimes it’s because a friend invited them to an event. Sometimes it’s a moment of emotion after seeing a story online. Sometimes it’s in honor of someone they love. Sometimes it’s an impulse. Sometimes it’s a crisis.

Those gifts still matter. Those people still showed up.

A one-time donor is not a failure of your system. Often, they are simply someone who came to visit — and that visit had value.

Tourists, seasonal residents, and “townies”

I like to think about donor relationships the same way I think about places we travel.

Some people visit a city once, fall in love with it for a weekend, spend their money there, tell their friends about it, and never return. That doesn’t make their visit meaningless.

Others return every year for a while. And a small group eventually builds a life there.

Donors behave the same way.

I once supported a close friend who became deeply involved with the American Heart Association after surviving a heart attack. For years, it shaped her identity. She became a spokesperson, attended events, and poured herself into the cause. Eventually, she said something that has stayed with me:

“I don’t want to be the girl who had the heart attack anymore.”

She wasn’t rejecting the organization. She had simply grown beyond that chapter of her life.

That wasn’t abandonment. It was evolution.

Why donor turnover is not the enemy

When donors leave, many organizations experience it as rejection.

But most of the time, it’s not personal. It’s cyclical.

Lives change. Identities shift. Priorities move. Crises resolve. Children grow up. People relocate. Healing happens.

If someone gave during a difficult season and later moves on, that doesn’t erase what their gift made possible.

When we frame donor loss as failure, we miss something beautiful: completion. Some relationships are complete exactly as they are.

And when we cling too tightly to people who were never meant to stay, we waste emotional energy that could be invested in nurturing the relationships that are reciprocal.

The donors who do stay

Of course, there are donors who truly belong to your mission.

They don’t just care about what you do — they care about why you do it.

They talk about values, not transactions. They show up even when they can’t give much. They open emails. They bring friends. They defend your work when you’re criticized. They trust you when things aren’t perfect.

For me, that organization is Stray Rescue of St. Louis. Animal rescue is part of who I am. I’ve fostered dogs for decades. I’m not going anywhere.

Every organization has people like this. They are rare. They are precious. And they deserve a different kind of relationship — one rooted in belonging, not constant solicitation.

The real question fundraisers should ask

Instead of asking:

“How do we get everyone to stay?”

Try asking:

“How do we make every experience meaningful?”

That question changes everything.

It shifts the focus from control to connection.

From pressure to presence.

From extraction to relationship.

When donors feel respected, thanked, and emotionally complete — whether they give once or a hundred times — your organization builds something stronger than retention metrics: reputation and trust.

Tourists bring energy, visibility, and momentum.

Seasonal donors bring depth during key chapters.

Long-term donors bring stability, advocacy, and identity.

All three matter.

Designing fundraising with humanity

One of my favorite examples is an event called Hope in a Handbag, hosted by Foster & Adoptive Care Coalition in St. Louis. Thousands of designer handbags. Hundreds of attendees. Incredible energy.

Most of the people there are not lifelong donors.

They come for the handbags.

And that’s okay.

They still raise money. They still create buzz. They still support children in foster care. They still do their job in the ecosystem.

The organization also hosts a completely different event for long-term donors — intimate, mission-centered, relationship-driven.

Two events. Two purposes. Two types of relationships.

Both successful.

Fundraising becomes lighter when we let go

When we release the belief that every donor must stay forever, something powerful happens:

We stop chasing.

We stop shaming ourselves.

We stop measuring worth by conversion rates alone.

We start building systems that welcome people in gently, serve them well while they’re here, and release them with gratitude when they’re ready to go.

That’s not weak fundraising.

That’s emotionally intelligent fundraising.

And in the long run, it’s far more sustainable.

Final thoughts

Every donor has a role.

Some bring spark.

Some bring staying power.

Some bring a season of generosity that changes lives — and then they move on.

If we honor each role instead of resenting it, our work becomes more humane, more strategic, and more effective.

And maybe most importantly… more peaceful.

Want help building a healthier donor pipeline?

If you want to create a fundraising system that welcomes new supporters, nurtures long-term relationships, and respects donor autonomy — I’d love to help.

I currently offer a 4-session coaching package where we build your full donor pipeline together:

Awareness → Interest → Connection → Action.

It’s designed to help you attract aligned donors, reduce burnout, and create steady momentum without pressure or manipulation.

You don’t have to chase donors.

You can build relationships that invite them to stay.

And that changes everything.