Aligning Personal Growth with Strategy

There is a phrase from my conversation with Janine Becker that has stayed with me:

Gather, don't carry.

I think this is one of the biggest shifts a nonprofit leader can make.

Because so many of us came to this work because we care deeply. We see a problem and we want to solve it. We see a community that needs support and we want to help. We see something that isn't working and our instinct is to step in.

And before long, we can find ourselves carrying the entire organization on our backs.

The strategy.

The fundraising.

The staff.

The board.

The mission.

The problems.

The expectations.

And then we wonder why we're exhausted.

In my conversation with Janine Becker, founder of On Purpose Together, we talked about something I believe is absolutely essential for nonprofit leadership: personal growth and strategy cannot be separated.

The way you see yourself as a leader determines what you believe is possible.

And what you believe is possible determines the strategies you choose.

Why Nonprofit Strategy Isn't Enough on Its Own

Nonprofit leaders are surrounded by strategy.

There are fundraising strategies.

Strategic plans.

Board engagement strategies.

Communication strategies.

Leadership frameworks.

Meeting structures.

Collaboration models.

There is no shortage of things we can try.

But sometimes we are looking for strategy to fix something that is actually happening internally.

We think:

"If I just had the right tool, I could solve this."

But what if the real question isn't simply, "What strategy should I use?"

What if it's:

"How am I seeing this situation?"

Because your paradigm—your underlying way of seeing the world—determines what you believe is possible.

And it also determines what you believe your role is.

If you believe everything depends on you, your strategy will reflect that.

If you believe your role is to gather people around a shared vision, your strategy will look very different.

The Leadership Shift From "What Can I Do?" to "What's Really Needed?"

Janine shared a powerful example from her work with a funder supporting immigrants and refugees.

The leader came into a session wanting to move $1 million quickly through rapid-relief funding.

On the surface, that sounded like the strategy.

But as they talked, something deeper emerged.

The leader was heartbroken.

And when they moved away from the question of "How do I deploy this money?" and toward "What is actually needed?", the entire vision expanded.

It wasn't just about funding grantees.

There were security needs.

Training needs.

Broader ecosystem needs.

Opportunities to bring additional funders to the table.

The number went from $1 million to $3.5 million.

But here's the important part:

The leader didn't suddenly have $2.5 million more capacity.

The paradigm shifted.

The question went from:

"What can I do?"

to:

"What's really needed, what's possible, and who else can help make it happen?"

That's a completely different leadership posture.

The Bigger Vision Doesn't Have to Mean More Weight

This is where nonprofit leaders can get stuck.

We can see a bigger vision but immediately think:

"I can't do any more."

And if bigger means more for me to carry, of course we're going to shrink the vision.

But what if a bigger vision doesn't mean more weight?

What if it means more people gathered around the work?

This is the heart of "gather, don't carry."

You don't have to personally execute every part of the vision.

Your role as a leader may be to create the conditions for other people to contribute.

That means building the team.

Delegating.

Mobilizing resources.

Inviting partners.

Creating relationships.

Asking better questions.

And allowing other people to bring their expertise to the table.

A bigger vision doesn't have to mean a heavier burden. It can mean a bigger community of support.

Gather, Don't Carry: A New Model of Nonprofit Leadership

There is a particular kind of nonprofit leader who is incredibly good at carrying things.

They are often the people who were responsible very young.

Responsibility became their superpower.

They became the person everyone could count on.

And that strength can become a trap.

Because eventually, the organization grows beyond what one person can carry.

At that point, leadership has to evolve.

You have to move from:

"How do I do this?"

to:

"How do I create the conditions for others to do this with me?"

That might mean holding the vision while delegating the "how."

It might mean bringing your team into the problem-solving process.

It might mean asking your board to contribute their expertise rather than simply receiving reports.

It might mean building relationships outside your organization.

It might mean admitting that the problem is bigger than your organization—and that's exactly why you need partners.

Scarcity Is Real. But It Doesn't Have to Be the Only Story.

Let's be clear: scarcity isn't imaginary.

Nonprofits are facing real funding challenges.

Programs get cut.

Government funding changes.

Resources disappear.

Organizations are under pressure.

Pretending otherwise doesn't help anyone.

But there is another question we can ask:

How do you want to relate to the moment you're in?

If you see the moment entirely through the lens of scarcity, you'll have one set of strategies available to you.

Move faster.

Protect resources.

Compete.

Push.

Do more with less.

But if you ask:

"What is this moment making possible?"

you open a different set of possibilities.

Who else is in the ecosystem?

Who could we partner with?

What assumptions are we making?

What are we doing simply because we've always done it?

What could we stop doing?

What could we do differently?

Both realities can be true.

There can be genuine scarcity and new possibility.

What COVID Taught Nonprofits About Letting Go of the Old Way

One of the best examples of this came during COVID.

Nonprofits suddenly lost their galas, events and traditional fundraising productions.

And many organizations panicked.

"How are we going to raise money without our gala?"

But once those events disappeared, some organizations discovered something important:

They had been putting enormous amounts of time and energy into producing events when that energy might have been better invested in relationships.

The crisis forced a paradigm shift.

Instead of:

"How do we replace the gala?"

the question became:

"How do we build relationships with donors?"

The event wasn't necessarily bad.

But perhaps it had become a substitute for something more important.

Sometimes a crisis removes an old strategy and forces us to ask whether we actually needed it in the first place.

Collaboration Is Not Asking for Help

One of the most powerful shifts a nonprofit leader can make is changing the way they think about asking for help.

Many leaders are comfortable being the helper.

They're less comfortable being helped.

But collaboration isn't:

"Please come save me."

It's:

"Let's mobilize resources around a common goal."

That distinction matters.

The problems nonprofits are trying to solve are increasingly too complex for one organization, one leader or one sector to solve alone.

So the question becomes:

Who else needs to be at this table?

And that includes people inside your organization as well as outside it.

Your staff.

Your board.

Your funders.

Your community.

Your partners.

Other nonprofits.

Businesses.

Government.

People with different expertise and different perspectives.

You don't have to carry the whole thing.

You have to gather the right people around it.

Decisive and Inclusive Leadership Can Exist at the Same Time

This is another leadership tension that comes up constantly.

Leaders often think they have two choices:

Be decisive.

or

Be inclusive.

But those aren't opposites.

You can be both.

A leader can decide what needs to happen while allowing the team to determine how it will happen.

For example, a leader might say:

"This is the strategic lever we're going to focus on this year. These are the outcomes we need. Now I want the team to determine the experiments and approaches that will help us get there."

That's decisive leadership.

And it's also participatory.

The leader isn't outsourcing the vision.

They're inviting others into the solution.

Your Job Isn't to Have All the Answers

One of the most important leadership shifts is moving from always showing up with answers to becoming more comfortable showing up with questions.

Instead of:

"Here's what we're going to do."

try asking:

"What else is possible?"

"What are we missing?"

"Who else needs to be involved?"

"What would this look like if we weren't doing it alone?"

"What are we actually trying to accomplish?"

That's not weak leadership.

It's inquiry.

And inquiry can unlock strategies that you couldn't have created by yourself.

Why Psychological Safety Matters in Nonprofit Leadership

Collaboration doesn't work if people don't feel safe enough to disagree.

And this is where nonprofit culture can sometimes get tricky.

We want to be kind.

We want to be supportive.

We want to avoid conflict.

We don't want to step on toes.

But kindness without candor can become avoidance.

If everyone agrees in every meeting, that doesn't necessarily mean you have an incredibly aligned team.

It might mean people don't feel safe enough to tell you what they actually think.

Constructive disagreement can be a sign of psychological safety.

People are willing to say:

"I don't think that's going to work."

"I'm seeing something differently."

"Have we considered this?"

"I have a concern."

And then the group can actually work with that information.

That's where something new can emerge.

You Don't Need More Polite Meetings. You Need More Generative Meetings.

Janine shared an excellent example of changing meeting design to create more meaningful engagement.

One team had been using meetings primarily for reporting.

You know the format.

Where are we on this?

Here's the status.

Here's the update.

Here's the report.

Then the team changed the structure.

Instead, everyone came prepared to answer three questions:

1. What are you celebrating?

This isn't fluff.

Celebration changes the emotional state of the room and gives people a chance to acknowledge progress.

2. What does everyone need to know?

Not everything you know.

Not a data dump.

What information do your colleagues actually need to do their work better?

3. What's one question you're wrestling with that the group needs to engage with?

This is where the meeting becomes collaborative.

Instead of simply reporting a problem, you're inviting people to help think through it.

You're treating your colleagues as thought partners.

And that changes the entire dynamic.

How to Make Board Meetings More Strategic

This approach isn't limited to staff meetings.

It can completely change the way you use your board.

Many nonprofit board meetings become information dumps.

The executive director reports.

The board listens.

Someone asks a question.

Then everyone goes home.

But your board is full of people with expertise, networks, lived experience and different ways of seeing problems.

Use that wisdom.

Before the meeting, ask yourself:

What do I actually need from this group?

What are the strategic questions you're wrestling with?

Where could their expertise help?

What decision could benefit from multiple perspectives?

Then tell them.

"Here are the three things I would really value your thinking on today."

Now your board isn't simply receiving information.

They're contributing.

And that creates a very different relationship between the executive director and the board.

Stop Avoiding Conflict and Start Using It Generatively

If you're trying to build meaningful collaboration, you can't eliminate disagreement.

You have to learn how to use it.

Avoiding conflict doesn't make conflict disappear.

It often just pushes it somewhere else.

People say yes in the meeting and then disagree in the hallway.

They become quietly resistant.

Resentment builds.

Decisions don't move.

Eventually, all the things that weren't said come out at once.

That's why small moments of honest disagreement can actually create more peace in the long term.

The goal isn't to manufacture conflict.

It's to create enough safety that people can tell the truth before the tension becomes explosive.

What If Everyone's Needs Could Be Met?

We often approach collaboration as a win-or-lose equation.

Either I get what I want.

Or you get what you want.

I win.

You lose.

But there may be another option.

What would it look like for everyone's needs to be met?

That's a very different question.

It moves you away from binary thinking and toward possibility.

Sometimes the answer is a compromise.

Sometimes it's a completely different solution.

Sometimes it's realizing that two people don't actually need the same thing.

The important part is that you can't discover those possibilities if everyone is protecting their position.

You have to put the needs on the table.

Then get curious.

The Meeting Agenda Is a Leadership Tool

If you want more collaboration, start by looking at your meeting agenda.

Are there mostly statements?

Or are there questions?

Are you asking people to receive information?

Or are you asking them to think?

A meeting designed around reporting produces reporting.

A meeting designed around inquiry creates inquiry.

That sounds simple, but it can fundamentally change organizational culture.

And it doesn't require a massive leadership transformation.

Sometimes you can start with one question:

"What are we actually here to solve together?"

Personal Growth and Strategy Belong Together

This is ultimately what I loved most about my conversation with Janine.

We often separate personal growth from strategy.

We have a coach for one.

A consultant for the other.

A strategy person helps us decide what to do.

A leadership person helps us understand ourselves.

But they're connected.

Because the way you see yourself as a leader influences the strategy you choose.

Are you the person who has to have all the answers?

Or can you ask better questions?

Are you the person who has to carry the organization?

Or can you gather the people needed to move the mission forward?

Are you the person who avoids conflict?

Or can you create enough safety for people to disagree productively?

Are you trying to control everything?

Or are you building the conditions for other people to contribute?

Those aren't just personal-growth questions.

They're strategic questions.

The Sustainable Leader Doesn't Carry Everything

Nonprofit leaders are trying to create sustainable change in the world.

So we have to ask an uncomfortable question:

Are we leading sustainably inside our organizations?

If you're trying to create participation, engagement and justice externally while running your organization through control and exhaustion internally, there's a disconnect.

If you're asking people to collaborate while making every decision yourself, there's a disconnect.

If you're asking people to bring their full selves to the mission while you're afraid to have difficult conversations, there's a disconnect.

The way we lead is part of the work.

And sustainable outcomes require sustainable leadership.

You cannot build a collaborative, participatory world through a leadership model that requires you to carry everything yourself.

Final Thoughts: What If You Didn't Have to Carry It Alone?

Maybe the next level of leadership isn't becoming better at carrying.

Maybe it's becoming better at gathering.

Gathering people.

Gathering ideas.

Gathering resources.

Gathering perspectives.

Gathering courage.

Gathering the right questions.

And creating the conditions for something bigger than any one person to emerge.

The problems we're trying to solve are too complex for solo heroes.

And that's not bad news.

It's an invitation.

An invitation to stop asking:

"What can I do?"

and start asking:

"What's really needed?"

"What's possible?"

"Who else can help us make it happen?"

That is where strategy gets bigger.

That's where leadership gets lighter.

And that's where personal growth and organizational impact finally meet.

Ready to Lead With More Possibility and Less Weight?

If you're a nonprofit leader who feels like you're carrying too much—or you're struggling to turn a bigger vision into a strategy your team can actually own—it's worth stepping back and looking at both sides of the equation.

Your strategy matters.

But so does the way you're showing up to lead it.

The right questions, stronger collaboration, healthier conflict and a community of support can change what's possible for your organization.

If you're ready to create more flow, build stronger relationships and lead without carrying everything yourself, let's talk.