Rewiring Your Thoughts to Lead and Fundraise With Confidence
If you’ve been around my world for more than five minutes, you know I love words. I love crafting the right message, the perfect pitch, the line that lands just right with a donor, a board, or an audience.
But here’s the bigger truth that changed my life and my work: your thoughts shape your words—and your words shape your reality.
This means that the real work of becoming an influential nonprofit leader, an authentic fundraiser, and a confident human isn’t just about getting the script right. It’s about rewiring what you believe about yourself so your words and actions align naturally.
Your Thoughts Create an Identity Loop
For decades, I helped organizations craft better websites, taglines, brochures—thinking that if they just had the right words, they’d finally feel confident. But here’s what I learned: a shiny brochure won’t help you ask for more money if you still believe you’re bad at asking.
It’s like driving the same old route and expecting to end up somewhere new.
Most of us have deep-seated beliefs we repeat every day:
“I’m not strategic.”
“I’m bad with money.”
“I hate fundraising.”
“I’m not good with people.”
We say these things like facts—but they’re just stories, often assigned to us long ago and repeated so often they became part of our identity. That’s what I call the identity loop: your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings shape your actions, and your actions create your outcomes. Then those outcomes reinforce the same thoughts—and the loop continues.
The Brochure Won’t Fix It—But a New Story Will
If your board says, “We’d ask for more money if we had a better brochure,” I promise you: you could hand them the best brochure on earth—and they still won’t ask.
Why? Because their belief isn’t about the paper. It’s about their own self-concept. If they believe asking is uncomfortable, pushy, or doomed to fail, they’ll subconsciously avoid it.
True confidence doesn’t come after you have the tool. It comes before—and then the words and tools naturally flow from that grounded place.
Break the Habit: 4 Steps to Rewire Your Brain
So, what does it take to break this old loop and create a new one? I’ve been deeply inspired by Dr. Joe Dispenza’s Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself—and here’s how I apply it to nonprofit leadership:
1️⃣ Inventory and Challenge Your Thoughts
First, notice the beliefs you repeat. “I’m not strategic.” “I’m bad at numbers.” “I hate conflict.” Write them down.
Then, soften the absolutes:
Instead of “I’m not strategic,” try “Sometimes I struggle with strategic thinking.”
Or “I haven’t felt strategic yet—but I’m learning.”
This tiny shift cracks open the door for new evidence and new outcomes.
2️⃣ Break the Loop by Catching Yourself
Your brain wants to repeat the familiar. But you get to say, “Whoa—change.”
Catch yourself mid-thought:
“I’m terrible at this—whoa—change. Sometimes I’ve struggled, but I’m learning.”
This tiny pause breaks the autopilot and invites a better story.
3️⃣ Mentally Rehearse a New Reality
Your brain can’t tell the difference between something vividly imagined and something real. That’s why athletes visualize winning. You can do this too.
If you can stay up at night imagining everything that could go wrong at your gala, you can stay up picturing it all going right:
The donors leaning in.
The stories landing.
The room buzzing with generosity.
You standing in calm authority, clear and warm.
Pair this with an elevated emotion—gratitude, excitement—and your brain rewires for that outcome.
4️⃣ Stay in the Present
Your power to change lives here—not in regrets about yesterday or worries about tomorrow.
When your mind races—“What if they say no? What if I blow it?”—come back:
Feel your feet on the ground.
Take a deep breath.
Focus on the person in front of you.
In presence, your influence and intuition flow. In presence, your words align with your truth.
Real Talk: Your Personality Creates Your Personal Reality
One of Joe Dispenza’s most powerful truths is that your personality—your habits of thought and feeling—create your personal reality.
If you want a different reality—more ease, more money, more connection—you can’t think the same thoughts and feel the same feelings.
It’s not “fake it till you make it”—it’s practice it until you become it.
Influence Starts Inside
In nonprofit work, we love external fixes: the script, the toolkit, the brochure. But the most powerful tool is your own internal wiring.
When you change your story—when you break the habit of being your old self—your words align. Your energy aligns. People feel it. Donors feel it. And the results come.
This is the real work of courageous communication. Not just the right tagline, but the true alignment of thought, word, and action.
Ready to Practice a New Story?
If you’re tired of recycling the same old beliefs—and you’re ready to feel truly confident asking, leading, and showing up—let’s do this together.
👉 Book your free Influence Activator Call
We’ll look at the thoughts holding you back and create the story that moves you forward.